Dear Santa, (mommy and daddy)   

We are getting really overwhelmed excited for the season. We are totally [not] ready for anything!

  This year we have been especially good and we could use a new 4-door car for Christmas, well, actually for driving around, but you know what I mean. If you are thinking you can’t fit that in the chimney, don’t worry, we don’t have one. So just leave it outside with a big bow like on that ad on TV. Thanks.

Current Task List

Number of items on list accomplished this weekend: 0

Friday: weekly summary

Let me start by saying this is not an entirely original idea. I got the summary idea by reading our blog. Yay!

Ok so anyway this week we got haircut, tree, and more pictures.

Current Task List

This stresses me: having a bullet list of items to do, but never getting them done and then putting them off until there is too much to do and then having no choice but surrender. It’s my spiral.

Current Tasks

• Thank You cards
• Calendar
• Organize finances and budget
• Guestbook
• Pick photos and order photobook
• Christmas Cards
• Dinners
• Birthday and Christmas shopping

MONTHLY NEWSLETTER, MONTH ONE: RECOLLECTION.

                First, I clarify this is not an original idea. This is a stolen concept from a one of my favorite websites, www.dooce.com. I wish I had started this earlier, but I suppose it’s better late than never.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I believe this blog will be a good tool for Brian and I to look back and reminisce on the good moments and have yet another reminder of how good it’s been for us.

First month of being married, has been really, the best month of my life so far. It was a very smooth transition, probably because it’s feels like an extended honeymoon. Couldn’t stop looking at the wedding pictures, and looking at his smile which never fails to melt my heart every time it peaks out.

Brian and I have many things in common. We love sharing things and that’s something I’ve always liked about us. Being married is a great thing for us because we get to share our day and learn more and more about each other. First month being married I still felt like a bride and thought about our wedding day every day. He made sure every day for us was special and we both tried reminding each other how “still feeling married” we felt.

“Still feeling married” phrase is a courtesy of Dad (Mark). We love it because the morning after the wedding he left a voice mail for us congratulating us for the heck of a show we put together for our wonderful wedding celebration. He said he hoped we still felt married and that the feeling lasted many, many years more. And in the tone of his voice, we knew he loved us and he celebrated with us and share our joy, and it is always a very special thing when your happiness is felt not only by you but by many loved ones. Thanks Dad for showing us “Still Feeling Married”, because we plan on feeling it for many, many, many years. And know that we plan on passing it on to our kids, when it’s time for them to feel married too.

Family has been such an important part of our relationship. We’ve always spent time with each others families. Even prior to our wedding, and although we were already fond of them, our first month as a married couple, was much about integrating to each others families and having a new pair of parents and  a more siblings than before.

Family to Brian and me, is very important and it’s a great experience having the privilege of extending your family!

Every day, during our first month, we had nothing but heartwarming moments and smiles for each other. We still do, for the most part. But the first month was full of magic and unspoken understanding between us. I wish I were able to explain to you how our first month of marriage was just so close to perfection and how it gave me a glimpse of how happy our lives will ever be. I know with much certainty in my heart that only if we are able to evoke our first month of marriage and how happy and perfect we were, when the rough patches come, that we will overcome any hardship. Because we know how good it can be and how much love there is between us, for each other.

Brian,

                Know that I’m very thankful for the blessing you’ve been in my life and how you’ve made the things that matter the most stand out. I’ve felt love and perfection through you and know that I promise to give us my best effort, even when I feel there may be nothing left to give.

                Thank you for filling my life with smiles and filling my heart with warmth through your arms. I pray to God that he keep you safe. Being married to you has brought me closer to Him, because I know it’s Him who put you in my life. And it’s only Him who will guide me in being a good wife, a good partner, a good listener, a good friend. And it’s only Him who I can pray for you to be blessed and advised in the best way.

                May I be smart enough to understand when to stop and persistent enough to know when to keep pushing you to reach your goals and live your dreams.

With all my love,

Chiquitita, your wife.

Struggle

I’d been in denial about it for a while now. We started dieting begining of November 2005. Brian lost nearly 80 lbs and I lost over 60. During our wedding planning and with all the truffle making, things started to get out of hand little by little.

Then the honeymoon came and we celebrated by eating some more. We felt good and comfortable and it seems like one of the things we have in common, is that in some way, food means family and love. We started a family of our own and added a member to the exting ones or joined a whole new one and food has always been one of our favorite ways to celebrate. So we celebrated. And then we settled. And we celebrated some more and ate much more.

And now, here we are two months, one week post wedding and I’ve gained approximately 25 lbs. I decided that a few more pounds would be easy to shed, specially since we’d shed so many. So I kept eating and overeating and then it went from a couple pounds to a few to 10 lbs, and then 15. I decided to ignore the scale at that point and stopped weighing in then. I’ve felt the different in clothes for work and in pictures Brian loves taking. () I am very fat again. Not nearly as fat as I used to be, but none the less. VERY. FAT.

It’s a continuous struggle because it seems like we’ve both decided that food is no harm and that it’s okay to continue eating. We eat in the morning and for lunch and then for dinner and then supper and there are the snacks. Chocolates and cookies and delicious pies. And then there is the eating out and three servings of suculent fries at Red Robin and then the eating the bread in restaurants and the ordering desserts and then constant treats we shouldn’t even be thinking about.

I love Brian, he’s amazing and he does nothing but try to make me happy. And if food makes me happy, he’s set to make me ecstatic. I’ve been feeling very sad about my recent weight gain. I feel fat and unpretty and feel everything but seductive latelty. Brian on the other hand, looks as hot as ever and I love every bit of him. And it’s not so much an insecurity, it’s just that I am not very happy with the way I look lately.

I know I need to do something about this and that it’s only in my hands and that it will not get any further if I make up my mind and put a stop to it. It’s still hard when everywhere I turn I see yummy food I want to eat. Places where I want to go eat. My favorite foods available at all times. And all I can do is be ashamed of my lack of discipline and my apparent lack of interested for staying on plan and counting points.

I need to go back and I may document some of the frustrations of doing so in this blog. So bare with me. Be supportive. Do not feed me. At least not the stuff I shouldn’t be eating. Love me. Be patient with me.

No more Cabana

Cabana Grille is closed. That is not to say no more Churrasquerria, but no more of the local, friendly, yummy place. So we went and found another one for dinner with Uncle Chuck.

Still not counting points.